My wife often like to ask me if she's beautiful. Of course she is, but I don't tell her often enough. If I did, maybe she won't ask me that question so often.
People these days are so influenced by what they see as romantic love. Even i'm guilty of it sometimes. The notion of romantic love is that love will fade away once the romance is gone. I think romantic love as a concept has its roots in Hollywood movies. The world has been so influenced by the West and nowhere is this more true than in the concept of love. Love and the concept of it, at least in Hollywood movies has been all about romantic love. You get the fiery, passionate love when two people first met. There's all the romantic stuff like candlelit dinner, flowers and candy. All this just so that viewers will get hooked and go dewy-eyed and weak-knees and say "Oh, how sweet?". And viewers do keep coming back for more, especially the err, ladies? What if the romance dies as time goes by? Does the love that comes with it also dies? Which comes to the question...
Then,"what is love?". Howard Jones' song comes to mind. What is love anyway? Does anybody loved anybody, anyway? If romantic love is love but only as long as the romance lasts, what then, after it is gone? Do people still loved their other (better?) half? Many times men divorced their wife because of "irreconcilable differences". Even women cite that as a reason. Irreconcilable difference sounds a lot like "romance has gone" from our marriage. Is romance much overrated in these modern times?
Romance. What does it mean? Romance means buying gifts (hmm. diamond rings and watches) and flowers for the one you loved. It also means showering your loved ones with affection like hugs and kisses. And once in awhile, surprising her with more gifts or a holiday together. But romance also means we want our better half to love us before we 'give' our love or we want our better half to love us more - more than we love him/her. Sometimes, this is reflected in the words we said like, "if only she can love me more?" or "you never loved me the way I loved you." or "you never loved me the way you used to anymore" or "you don't really understand me". Is romantic love self-centred then? It is love with a condition-I still loved her but it's so difficult to understand her sometimes. If only she would care for me more. I know because I'm often guilty of that too.
What is love then? True love (like the unconditional love of a mother) is in the action we do for our loved ones. Love your wife even if she's not so perfect. Love her even if she likes to shop, and talk for hours with her friends. Love her even if she sometimes get on your nerves. Love her even if she is sometimes so stubborn and would not listen to you. Just love her the way she is because she is, after all, my wife. I chose her to be my wife. No one force me. It is not easy to be with someone because I believe fate do play a part when people meet in this world. I am learning to appreciate this.
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